On this fourth Sunday of Advent: imagining Mary.

The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner

 I imagine Mary after the angel Gabriel left her.  After he made his declaration to her and then left her there, alone.  Her life was changed so completely and without her own forethought or control.   She must have sat there, deep in thought, knowing that once she moved she would be taking the first steps towards this great undertaking.  I imagine that she sat for a little longer then, caught between her life before Gabriel came and the life that was laid out before her, a life that now included carrying the child of God.

This story has a very special place in my heart.  I like to linger on the realization that Mary accepted her task with an open heart.  She moved forward into her new life, opening space in her heart for a son.

I think of my own life and the times it has been changed in ways I did not intend or predict.  That sort of change is unsettling and frightening and sometimes depressing.  When I think of how I got through those times, the first thing I think of are the people in my life who acted as anchors.  Those people who I would call at 11pm, those people who I trusted, the people in my life who reminded me of who I am.

I think of Mary and I wonder, "How did she not get lost in that great responsibility?"  I'll never really know the answer to that question.

As I light the fourth candle of Advent -- the candle of love -- I am awash in the love of and for my friends and family that surround me near and far -- and the love of God that knocks at my heart always, asking to be let in.